What happens if you don't communicate what your needs are in a marriage?

If you need something from your spouse to make you happy do you communicate it? Even if it may hurt their feelings? If you don't communicate it are you miserable? They say communication is key to a successful marriage... what if you need something from your spouse, but don't tell them because you know they cannot provide it? Like its something they cannot change, like their religion beliefs... What do you do?What happens if you don't communicate what your needs are in a marriage?
Issues like You've mentioned, should have been addressed before you got Married!


Foolish of you both, to not THINK these things through FIRST!


What OTHER matters did you fail to address?


Ignoring them NOW, will only compound the error, SO FOOLISH!What happens if you don't communicate what your needs are in a marriage?
if your needs is based on religion


then you might as well file for divorce right now


religious difference rarely works if both persons are devote to their respective religions


and then when you have a child and the question becomes, what do you raise the child as?


it's foolish to think you can bring up a child in a dual religions


as it confuses the child and usually they drop out of religion all together


figuring if my parents can't get it straight and unified, why should i?





you cannot reasonably expect you spouse to switch religions or even start going to religions, it's not fair to ask him to change his core moral values for yours, that's selfish..








you see the Israelis and Palestinians fighting? it over religion and territory.. and it will NEVER cease.. you want to know why? because each side believes hard core in their religion and neither side will conceded the other sides position on any given issue.. thus the fighting will always be there for ever...





so it is with marriage and religions


you always want the same religion when you marry, any differences will bea source of unnecessary conflicts over the life of the marriage and re;present a house divided
How do you expect someone to give you something if you do not communicate it? No one is a mind reader.





If they cannot give it to you, why are you asking for it? You are setting both of you up for failure.





Communication is the key but so is compromise. Communication isn't ';I tell you, you give me, end of story'; Communication the dialog between the parties to come to a mutual agreement that BOTH can be satisfied.
Communication is very important, but religion %26amp; beliefs are something worked out in the dating stage of a relationship. I do not think it is right for you to tell your spouse to give up what they believe in. These are things you knew upfront and pretended like you accepted. You cannot change someone, and it is not fair to expect them too.
Communication is the key for any relationship. If they hurt your feelings, get over the hurt first and then maturely and in a loving way, tell them how it hurt. Don't blow up like an immature kids throwing a temper tantrum. If you need something, talk. Communicate, compromise, discuss, share, etc. Arguing and throwing temper tantrums are nothing but destructive.





If you don't talk, then a lot of resentment will build up and it will not be that other spouses fault. It will be yours because you did not let them know.
Set in stone things like religeous beleifs should have been discussed before marriage.





Everything else comes down to compromise, people are always changing, and their needs change to - in a good relationship, neither partner should be concerned about talking about their needs, then its down to both parties to work out how to go forward.
Talk! change has to start within...so dont get in the victim mode. If its marriage that has the abilty to change then it will most likely occur. because ques. have asked .. i think to people that LOVE each other can build off of feedback, feelings, likes-dislikes etc. But someone has to break that wall and take marrige to the next level of conscienceness..SO GET OFF YA A$S AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
you should communicate your needs BEFORE you get married... duh. Otherwise resentment builds up... just say whatever it is and let the chips fall where they may... either way someone will be hurt and miserable, right? why not make it your spouse instead of you? (that's sarcasm...)
then dont expect anything to change. People arent mind readers so sometimes they just have to be told. If its really that important to you then tell him or forever hold you peace. Good luck
Divorce usually.





All of this stuff should happen before marriage.





Unless one spouse is saying he/she ';needs'; a threesome. That's called B.S.





But you didn't discuss religion prior to marriage?
Women are guilty of not communicating or telling their partners what they want or need. They expect their partners to be mind readers. So when they don't get what they want, they get mad !
My general answer is, if you do not communicate your needs, they may not be met, and it will be your fault. In your specific situation, I understand it is complicated, but the only way the situation remains unchanged is by not talking about it. As I see it, there are three options.





1. You don't talk about it, and it continues to fester and destroy things beneath the surface (not fair to your partner as you haven't even given them a heads up or an opportunity to help.) Eventually this will cause resentment on both sides and lots of unspoken problems (the most impossible kind to solve!) I think this option is kind of like sentencing yourself to death. You know it's coming, and you can't escape it; it is a slow, painful demise.





2. You talk about it and find that although there is no compromising on the specific issue, there are other things that you can add or subtract to help with your needs. Never underestimate the creative mind. If someone is motivated (and I would think a partner with unfulfilled needs would be pretty motivating!) there is often a creative solution. You will never know what is possible here unless you ask openly, and honestly, for what you need.





3. You talk about it and your partner is unwilling to think creatively to help meet your need or is unconcerned/unmotivated to help you meet them in a way that is mutually beneficial. This would certainly suck, but imo, it is FAR better than option #1. It would hurt, but not as much, and not for as long as knowing you didn't even try, and abdicated all responsibility for your own happiness.





Talk about it. No matter what happens, this is the most respectful and responsible thing to do both for your partner, and yourself.





Good Luck to you!