Can one bad marriage give someone a jaded view on marriage in general?

I feel like I will NEVER get married again. When some people tell me they are engaged, I say ';congratulations';, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking ';Ha! Dumbass';. How do you feel about it?Can one bad marriage give someone a jaded view on marriage in general?
Of course. Most of us (I dunno, maybe not so much these days) are raised with this idea that marriage represents the start of a Happily Ever After journey through life together which, while there may be bumps along the way, will still be going strong sixty or seventy years later with the pair of you sitting on His'n'Hers rocking chairs on a porch somewhere watching the sunset and not needing to even speak because you know what the other is thinking.





An unmarried person (who believes in marriage), or one who at the moment of speaking is still happily married, looks down on those who divorce. How could they have made such a bad choice of partner, they think. Did they walk down the aisle on a whim, with someone they barely knew? How could they be so weak as to walk away the second things get difficult? To give up without trying to fix it? There is nothing that can't be sorted out if you love each other enough! When I marry, they tell themselves smugly, it will be for life.





That was you. That was me.





And then you find yourself having to reconcile all that with the stranger in the next room, throwing stuff into the same suitcases you took on your honeymoon and refusing to tell you their new address.





It's not one bad marriage, it's YOUR bad marriage. That's absolutely a big deal, in your personal universe. You only get one, really, don't you. How can you promise Spouse #2 that this will really be for life when you said it before to someone else and then changed your mind? Call it cynicism, call it being realistic. But it happened to you, dammit! You, who had all those hopes and dreams. Of course you're going to feel like the whole institution is just a lie fed to gullible kids and teens to keep them playing the game.





That said, I don't discount it for anyone else. It just didn't work for me, and because of that it's not for me any more. Everyone else should still be able to have a shot at it if it's what they want! For some of them things will work out just fine, and good for them.Can one bad marriage give someone a jaded view on marriage in general?
how i or anyone else feels about it is irrelevant, how you feel about it is.


But are you really interested in what we feel or were you looking for something else?





clearly you aren't looking to marry again anytime soon, which i can understand, you obviously have unresolved issues with yr divorce that you need to come to terms with. eventually you will get over it.





I have been married twice and divorced twice, so i can say it is certainly possible to be jaded against marriage, and obviously it is not something i have yet to experience.





so figure out what you really want and focus on that, stop worrying about what others feel about what you think.





good luck in what ever you decide.





best wishes
I think that a previous bad marriage makes you a little bit more careful on the next go around. I am on my second marriage and at times I wonder if I will make it through it, but I love my husband and I try to learn daily from my mistakes. Marriage takes effort from both parties. It is not always happy fun times...sometimes it really sucks. But if you truely love your mate you will find a way to make it work, even with a jaded view.
If we felt that way we never would have the pleasure of a true loving relationship with each other. We both were married before (to the wrong person) - hubby's ex cheated on him, my ex abused me.





I'm glad we knew there WERE good and loving people out there - we have a solid, strong marriage with more love between us then we imagined.
If you learned from the experience, then don't give up on marriage altogether. If you meet someone and it happens again, just don't make the same mistakes again. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.
I've been divorced for 5 years and I'm JUST starting to think that MAYBE someday I MAY be willing to marry again but with a lot of condition and a pre-nup.





What you feel is normal. It will go away with time.
I feel the exact same way. When someone tells me they're getting married, it's like they're saying to me ';I'm going skydiving without a parachute this weekend. It should be fun!';
yes it can but the key is to be able to trust again, its scary and you will probably keep comparing situations until you realise this isnt the same person.
I believe so but people are different. The next time it might be oh so lovely.


I quite understand how you feel.
I think we all carry our baggage with us! SWEET MILDRED IS MY LEADER, CRAWL INTO HER PLAYPEN WITH ME