I am afraid of Gay Marriage, what will happen to my marriage?

The television commercial by the National Organization for Marriage says


';There is a storm gathering. The clouds are dark and the winds are strong.';





Will I need a marriage counselor to save my marriage?


Will I lose my job due to gay marriage?





I am frightened for my marriage, what can I do?I am afraid of Gay Marriage, what will happen to my marriage?
It will be difficult. You will be tested as you have never been tested before. The first step is to seek a community that will help you pass this test, nay trial, of same sex faith, hope, ardor and commitment.





Follow these simple steps:





1. Reach for your check book;





2. Ascertain your outstanding current balance;





3. Write a check for that amount and make it payable to the ';National Organization for Marriage,'; or simply ';GNOME.';





4. Mail the check in a envelope that is properly addressed with a sufficient amount of postage;





5. If it will help, the National Organization for Marriage will accept plastic to fund its efforts to save your job and marriage, but not necessarily in that order;





6. The National Organization for Marriage does not accept food stamps, assignments of unemployment benefit checks, Section 8 vouchers, CDOs, CDSs, mortgage-backed securities or other OTC financial derivatives.





A representative of GNOME named Newt will be in touch with you post-payment to help you develop an individualized plan to save your job or your marriage in accordance with God's will. The plan will be as simple or comprehensive as our circumstances and your donation permit.





We are frightened for your marriage too. That is why you need to pick up the phone and dial 1-800-NEWT-GNOME today. Don't delay. The sanctity of your heterosexual marriage may depend upon it.I am afraid of Gay Marriage, what will happen to my marriage?
Don't worry. Marriage between man and woman is always gonna be the only true marriage. Anything else is just a sick, deranged, liberal farce.
Best batten down the hatches and weather the storm. Keep away from poufs who will try to trick you into doing what you shouldn't.
I just don't understand people's fascination with other people's bedrooms and relationships............I dont get it





Please tell me! How hard is it just to let people live thier own lives?
This one is not as good as the last spoof.