Is it old fashioned nowadays to take marriage seriously?

Many of my friends are cohabiting, and to them cohabiting is the same as marriage. They also often say that half of all marriages fail, so what is the point. I don't say it to their face because it would be hurtful, but if you're reducing marriage to cohabiting, then obviously it isn't going to work.Is it old fashioned nowadays to take marriage seriously?
I think divorce has become so acceptable by society now, that people go into it thinking that if it doesn't work they can just split. When I got married I thought about if I really want to be with just him for the rest of my life. I never consider divorce as an option when we fight, because I know that we made a commitment and we need to work through it instead of just giving up. So many couples don't learn to deal with quirks or irritations they have with their spouse because no one's going to care if they get divorced...its socially acceptable. Its sad.





All that said, I think cohabiting is for those people that are afraid to commit. Or they know, in the end, their relationship won't work out, so why bother?Is it old fashioned nowadays to take marriage seriously?
Not at all. Marriage is for mature people who are seriously committed to each other and want to have a family together. Cohabiting is one thing, you cohabit with roommates, with your siblings, parents, etc, but being married to someone you love is another thing. That shows that you are ready for the next step and have children of your own. When you cohabit, you can get up and leave anytime you want. When you marry you say to the other person that I will be there in good times and bad times and we can face anything together.
Great question, YES. If you saw the recent show on ABC or NBC, 4 invididuals were being interviewed regarding marriage and adultery. It was called ';Born to cheat'.


One person was a new age relativist, believed a couple + 1 significant other was appropriate.


One was a married man of 2 kids that ran a website business to assist people in committing adultery.


One was a christian pastor/author, Ed Young speaking on the biblical sacredness of matrimony.


One was a recovered pornography addict.


It was an interesting exchange bewteen the four on all views. I personally stood behind Pastor Ed Young and the recovered addict...what was important to observe was the 'message' of the segment having to do with adulter, cheating, affairs, etc...being the 'norm' these days. Back in the day, people didn't buy new things when things got broken...they fixed them. These days, we throw more stuff away rather than fixing...and their point was it's the same for marriage. The man running the website asked the same question you did... ';What is the point if they're going to fail anyway.';


So what is the point marriage at all? We as a nation have truly forgotten and forsaken traditional virtues. There is nothing sacred about marriage these days (selectively speaking).
Why would you define marriage to that of your friends. First, it is a fact that friends come and go. Secondly, when there is a problem in your marriage - can your friends fix the problem.





Listen, take if from someone that is married - marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime. There are emotional and physical needs that will be met or not - in any event - the partner that you select to spend the rest of your life with - is the one to do that. Not your friends.





In true American culture - your friends spoke the first thing out of there minds. but the simple truth of the matter is that marriage is not something to take lightly. Half of the marriages fail because people don't care enough to take the time to evaluate whom they've decided to spend the rest of their lives with. Now days, a quick marriage is a sign that ';I love you'; and it happens often.





If you have a failed marriage, nine times out of ten, it is of YOUR own doing. Respect yourself enough to date someone to get to know them, to evaluate if this is in fact the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. you can't do that in 5 months.
I agree!!! I take marriage very seriously. Cohabiting is a way for people to deal with fears of serious commitment. I love my fiance VERY much and the only way the two of us will be completely happy is if we are finally married. Our getting married will be seriously difficult due to his past and when I see people actually getting married or taking their marriage for granted it really hits a soft spot. Anyways I guess I am rambling now... Just do not be like that and settle for cohabiting.
I lived with my man for 8 years and get along with his ex wife and kids. I was never around during their divorce. I was nearly 3000 miles away in college when that happened. His ex was re-married when we met. We take our relationship seriously, but we like to have fun together. He likes to play poker and I like Scrabble. We both enjoy both games with friends, but on serious games we usually play with our serious game folks and do not have a problem with it. We have fun gossiping about any poor sports that have tantrums when they lose. The best advice for marriage is too find something to giggle about together. We giggle about the newspaper too!
no, it's not old fashioned. and you're right. if that is their opinion on marriage then they probably won't have a very good chance of having a successful one anyway. kind of makes you feel sorry for them doesn't it? you know they'll be the ones who get married and divorced 3 or 4 times and are never happy while you've got the great hubby and the beautiful family with no drama...and you know also that they will resent you for it deep down inside. i have a few friends like this.
You are 100% correct....cohabitating is ';playing house';. It's all these roles that you take on with no commitment. A husband and a wife have God given responsibilities so when people act married but have never entered into that covenant - things get all confusing. Now, I'm not saying living together for a little while (a few months) before an impeding wedding is wrong. I mean, it is, but at least you are planning on getting married. But those people who loive together with NO plans of marriage is very disfunctional.
I will say OLD IS GOLD, our great grandfathers were having a chain of families with low divorce rates those days, why because they were following old traditions which kept them together and they helped each other. Now our generation is following the footsteps of technology and forgetting the olden days. Be happy and dont use this new tech applications which can shutdown the whole system by a small rat which cuts the cable and all is gone. So be a good family and watch your step, dont follow a person who is falling into a hole, stop before you fall.
You are exactly right....people are settling for less than the best and allowing the world to dictate that ';it wouldn't work anyway';.


Your friends are wrong. Whether they believe it or not.


Marriage is about committment...and no man should get the goodies if he isn't willing to commit. What does that say about how he feels about you....Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.


Stand Strong; cohabiting is wrong.
I take mine VERY seriously. People now days wanna be soo different and change things like not taking the mans last name or adding it on to theres. If you both are honest real loving adults then you both can have a happy healthy marriage. It depends on the people and if they really want it. If you belive that it's not gonna work then it's not. People like your friends should stay single or just date then.
a marriage would never fail if the man and the woman would


do what they should do in a marriage. love honor and respect. treat your partner like she / he should be treated


and stop lusting and cheating.
Then my husband and I are very old fashioned. Co-habiting is NOT the same as marriage. Hope you remain 'old fashioned'. :)
no it isn't old fashioned to take marriage seriously people who cohabit don't want to have to work on their relationships they don't want the hassle so they can just move on
No in fact it quite a testament to those who take it seriously.
marriages don't fail because there is a piece of paper, they fail because the people have no morals.
I dont know which one works. I have tried both ways and it has not worked out for me.
divorces are a pain in the azz!.why set your self up? just saying !!
We live in a very disposable society. Also one that is very transient. People now a days take jobs that unlike their parents or grandparents before them they stay at less than 5 years. With all the availability of meeting people that is now available people are not staying in any relationship long never mind marriage. But the truth is, as old fashioned as it may seem marriage is very important today even more so than ever. It is the very thread of the fabric of our society that holds it together. When you look around you now a days, you see so many broken, single parent families. Many women just want to have children with out a man. This like it or not is the way a whole new generation of children are growing up with their only exposure being to just a mom. Lately, more and more women are disregarding their children to pursue other interest's and now more and more grandparents are raising their grand children. People tend to get married today with the idea already in the back of their minds NOT that they want to be with this person for the rest of their lives, but that if it does not work out, I'll get a divorce. In prior generations, getting a divorce was not as easy, especially when you had to prove grounds for divorce people got married with the mind set that this was for keeps and couples worked harder to make it work. Now there is no incentive and really no appreciation for commitment. Cohabiting today is just an excuse to say, ';buy'; something on a trial basis and if you don't like it no one is hurt. But it makes it easier and easier to avoid commitment which is what people are doing when they live together without marriage. If you look at their lives as a whole, you will find a lack of commitment to anything meaningful. Oh, to video games or music or partying perhaps but those are not things that are substantial to society. Saying that half of marriages fail is a cop out. How many of their relationships without matrimony fail? Marriage means putting your money where your mouth is. But sadly it reflects todays society, where nothing commited to is rarely seen. Nobody wants to put in the effort everybody wants it easy or do they want to pay the price a true commitment calls for. Sadly as a society, we have made it easy to do just that in all areas of our social structure.