Should a fiance be expected to attend school functions of step kids from a previous marriage?

my fiance has step kids from a previous marriage. he still is involved in their lives.it bothers me that he doesnt want to spend anytime with my kids who will become his step kids,but is still very involved with his step kids from a previous marriage.Should a fiance be expected to attend school functions of step kids from a previous marriage?
He has already developed relationships with the step children from his former relationship. Give it time, he'll develop those with your children too if they allow him to. I think he should be commended for continuing his contact with those children. So often they are just walked away from and it is not their fault adults can't get along. He is being a good, strong male figure in their lives and someday he will be in your children's lives too. If something were to end your relationship with him someday, I hope he doesn't judge the kids by that and remains close to them too.


So bravo, you've found a man who doesn't walk away and dump children like they are extra baggage. Celebrate instead of worrying, he's going to make a great step dad to your kids too, just give it time.Should a fiance be expected to attend school functions of step kids from a previous marriage?
Personally, I'd be pretty annoyed. The two of you are embarking a new life together and your kids will become his kids, he should be getting involved with their lives.





At the same time it's also a little like asking him to stop seeing his friends. My step-dad and mum split up and I still spend time with him and his new family and once when my mum asked me not to, I told her where to go 'cos the guy was my dad for 10years.





I don't necessarily think its unreasonable that he wants to continue to be involved in their lives, but it shouldn't take precedence over your new start together because things will just start to fester.
A bit self centered, aren't you? He has a relationship with those step-kids. He helped raise them. Good for him that he is involved in their lives even though his relationship with their mother is over. These are KIDS. Get over it. As time goes on, he will develop a relationship with your kids, but sometimes there is a reason why a guy doesn't want to develop a relationship with their current woman's kids. Maybe their father is involved in their lives.
I don't think it is entirely right of you to feel jealous that he's spending time with his former step kids. My stepfather has been in my life since I was four years old, and I am now nearing twenty. He and my mother broke up a year ago, but he and I still have that father-daughter bond and I appreciate the fact that just because he and my mother were no longer working out, he didn't dump me as his kid also. Face it, kids and step parents develop their own bond and grow attached to one another, the form their own relationship that shouldn't be severed based on the break-up of the parents relationship. He will eventually form a relationship with your kids, especially if they are younger....but you shouldn't expect him to cut ties with his former stepchildren. It would probably be heartbreaking for all involved.
you can't really expect him to disappear from their lives, the kids shouldn't be punished because of the breakup. Of course, he does need to get involved in your children's lives too as he will be their step dad soon. You had better come to a compromise about how much time he will spend with his step kids and your kids, or hold off marrying him as this could come between you big time once you are married.
Sounds like you have a problem that should be dealt with in premarital counseling. It's actually very admirable that he cares about the kids he helped raise and that he wants the best for them. But it's a separate and very major problem that he doesn't want to help parent your kids. This could be a marriage killer and terrible for your kids. If I were you, I'd get professional help before you tie the knot. Good luck.
Overall, I think it's very commendable that he's involved with these stepkids. Where it might become annoying is if it's at the expense of your kids. There's not enough info, including how long he's known your kids and how old they are, to know if this is possible. But if that starts happening, I'd wonder about it, too, because I'd wonder if it was a way to spend time with his ex.
If they are his step kids, and not his biological children then you might have a winner on your hands. If this man cares enough about these children in spite of the fact that he isn't their father then he probably will be a good step father to your children as well.





But, since he's not showing any interest in your children you do need to find out the reason. And the only way to do that is to have a serious conversation with him about the issue. That is the only way to understand someone. Talking........
You divorce the spouse not the kids. It sounds like they love him and he loves them and the sooner your kids become those kids friends the better your lives will be.
He became involved With these children. He became a parent . It is a testimony to him of what a good man he is.
Maybe you are jealous because those are HIS KIDS! Your kids aren't his.