What do you think about misyar marriage?

I would appreciate both the male and female perspective.What do you think about misyar marriage?
Not all of the mashiaek approve it. I think it is not healthy for the society.


This kind of marriage came out when traditional marriage became difficult due to financial difficulties. So young men couldn't get married and also young women stayed without marriage.





I think that if our society took the responsibility and made marriage and starting a family easier and less complicated the problem will be solved. Also I think that men who choose misyar marriage as a second marriage (or 3rd or 4th) should make this marriage a traditional one. I know that women don't like this is but this better than being a wife in a misyar marriage!


Because in a traditional marriage she will be in a stronger position. she will be able to have children and she will be able to take her rights from her husband, etc.What do you think about misyar marriage?
This question is a very good topic for discussion and very timely due to the economic implications of the muslim marriage in the Gulf, the preservation of ones family lineage, the upliftment of womens (single, spinster, widower, divorcee) right to marry, etc... but being non-muslim and western influenced upbringing, life, thinkings, cultures and education. I wont be able to do justice on my answer. Hence, it could be termed bias.





Even muslim scholars like the eminent Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, mesyar marriage is being tacked sensitively not being pro or con on his fatwas and sermons.





If muslims brothers and sisters are threading sensitively on this matter - I'm with them.





For those who would like to participate in this question, check this out:





http://www.arabnews.com/?page=9搂ion=0%26amp;ar鈥?/a>


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Misya鈥?/a>





I would love to see the views of others on this matter.
I find it unfair for the woman. What benefit does a woman get from such a marriage? Money which is exchanged is not in the woman's hands, it is not the woman's choice in real life. It is a contract which has to be approved and agreed upon by her MALE guardian. And I want to know, does the woman realistically have the right to leave the man in such a marriage? Or does he have to ';GRANT'; her the divorce? If he has to agree to the divorce - what choice does she have in the entire situation? Is she not still at his mercy?


It is a sad excuse to ';legalize'; fornication or ';zina'; through a contract with money or some form of payment exchanged. Why not just curb your sexual desire until you are with your wife? Or simply - get married like everyone else. Is this the way you legalize a man paying a woman to have sex?


When was the last time you heard a woman ask a man to have a ';Misyar Marriage';? Can you imagine a woman asking her Male guardian to arrange a Misyar marriage for her so she can release some of her sexual urges? Where is equality in this?


If the man is worried about the financial burden a marriage may bring, he should think about the mental impact this will have on the woman for her entire life!


I feel so strong about this, and I want to say a lot more, but I do not want to rant.
';Misyar';, or whatever brand has been given to a marriage, is not important in Islam or to Muslims, what you label something as doesn't give is merit or denies it that.





Marriage in Islam has basic conditions that need to be met, the result is a Shareah compliant marriage regardless of the name.





A marriage cannot be temporary, expressing that you'll end the marriage at an event or date nullifies the marriage being shareah compliant. So, there can't be temporary marriage in Islam in the context I've presented.





As to who has the right to divorce, three can trigger a divorce, the husband, the wife or a judge with what is called ';Khola'; in Arabia, my best translation is ';Extraction'; when I judge divorces the party that doesn't have the ';Esmah'; which is the right to end the marriage. Either husband or wife can have the right to divorce by choice at the time of writing the marriage contract ';Akd Nekah';. The default is that it is given to the husband, but not necessary. When the party that doesn't have the ';Esmah';, being the husband or the wife in that particular marriage contract, wants to end the marriage, they turn to the judge and present their reasons and he goes about the normal judicial proceedings of a normal court case to hear both sides and the involved relatives and can not only divorce the wife or the man, whoever doesn't have Esmah, but also can give custody of the kids to the parent asking for the if the one being divorced is proven to not be custody worthy.





As to what is classified as Misyar, from what I've understood is the commen sunnary of it by those using the labels is that it is a marriage that has all the Shareah requirements of her being asked for her permission, a dawry, a Wali (parents in most cases if they're alive) and witnesses. In the marriage contract she states that she doesn't require her husband to spend time or provide lodging.





Now, she can consent giving up one or more of her rights, as mentioned above, but all rights given up in a marriage contract by her can be requested back again my merely expressing her intention to no longer give them up, at the point they go back as being a burden that her husband must fulfill as would be in any unconditional contract without the need to amend it.. the reason for it to be written from the beginning if it isn't forceable is to be used a memory jogger, so the husband doesn't get blamed for not delivering on the assumed rights of his wife if it were kept legal.





Also, a marriage contract has to be sharea compliant, meaning it can't contain any requests that are not sharea compliant, so you can't express in there that you don't want kids, the contract cannot deliver that or play the role of a contraceptive, so it not true that any Islamic marriage can contain in its contract terms as such.. otherwise are we saying that the husband is saying 'if you happen to get pregnant, I'm not the dad?! Or I won't take responsibility for them?! No can do! In Islam, authorities and responsibilities are aligned.. We try and imitate that in management and specifically in Job Descriptions. :-p





I had once witnessed a women's marriage where she wanted the marriage contract to state that if they divorce, she gets the kids. The contract was refused by the court stating that you cannot ask for a term in the contract that goes against the sharea and the sharea has rules as to what happens and how and when and what are the exceptions for custody of the kids in a divorce so you can't contradict with those rules.





There are also instances where the wife or the husband are not at an age or in a state of physical or mental health to be able to sustain the burdens of a marriage.





A friend of mine takes care of her elder mother and lives at the mother's house, she's worried that if she gets married that her mother won't be supported and she'll lose both by trying to juggle a life beyond her capacity without dropping one of them.. she marries and insisted to live with her mother and take care of her and not be demanded to make herself available except when it's possible and manageable around her mothers' routine.





Another instance is where a man is responsible for his divorced mother and her daughters (his sisters) and is playing the role of their father figure and providing all the usual social and financial needs for everyone.. They need a person to share a life with, but can't be risking his mothers' well being as well as his sisters if he's not living with them.. this might not be all that easily appreciated in some cultures, but in others is has a lot of negative impact on them.. they won't ask for him to stay with them, but he's not waiting for permission.. He's doing the right thing and he'll find a person who would appreciate his responsibilities and might even support him to help him continue or even do better.





There are men whom get married in a Misyar marriage even if they don't have a current wife in their lives. Another person, who's a relative, and is the Wali of his divorced mother has helped her to get marriage in a Misyar marriage so she can continue and rais her current kids as well as not lose out on the few good years she has remaining in her life and be with a companion.





It's not easy to be alone all the sudden in your fifties.. it's not fair to ask of her to sacrifies beyond what she really needs to.. if it's not Haram, then it's Halal.. Labels and cultures considerations that are not worth the price to live within them is too high and I don't give a flying rats behind about adhering except to Sharea boundaries.
It sounds like pre-nuptial agreement in America.


Misyar marriage is a temporary marriage that can be extended forever...('till death do them part).





Almost all marriages are now just temporary although it's intended to be eternity. People just get divorce all the time for any reason. There's no rule to forbid the divorce. The divorce is halal but unblessed by God.





So I think I'm kinda neutral about this. Each type of marriage (temporary or permanent) have both pros and cons.





Misyar marriage is a temporary marriage that you can extend forever.


Normal marriage is a permanent marriage that you can terminate any time you want.





See the difference....?





To Civilizard:


Basically we're in the same argument here. The keyword is: ';A marriage is basically a contract';. More or less.


As per any kind of contract, it's supposed to have time of validity. Either ';till death do us part'; or ';4 weeks'; term.


For that reason, you cannot judge misyar marriage as a wrongdoing.
Misyar marriage was approved by many well known muftis; so I don鈥檛 think there is any thing in this kind of marriage against shareaa law, and also, no doubt it is good for many girls who didn鈥檛 get the chance for the normal marriage and good for the men who are financially not able to do the normal marriage.


And also it protects the women who are in need for a man from looking around and doing the wrong things and vice versa.


But unfortunately, this marriage is misused by many men just to enjoy without any obligations, marry鈥?enjoy鈥? get bored鈥? divorce鈥?marry again. No house, no kids, very easy to escape.





Personally I will not do it, I want the normal marriage because I need her in my home to help me with my life duties.