Why do men shut down when marriage is brought up?

My man and I have been together for 2 years. I think if i was the one for him he would know it by now. I know he is the one for me. He tells me he wants me forever but does not want to be married. I believe marriage is very important.Why do men shut down when marriage is brought up?
This is funny: ';He tells me he wants me forever but does not want to be married.';





It's like saying, ';I want to smell good forever, but I don't want to take a shower.';





';I never want to be hungry, but I don't want to eat.';





';I want to be strong, but I never want to exercise.';





LOL!Why do men shut down when marriage is brought up?
I think for a lot of men, it is the financial aspect. They may love you, but the thought of being legally and financially tied down is a huge turnoff. If they don't have any kids already, then it may be the thought of supporting any future kids. Really for the most part he only has to worry about himself now and there is a lot of security in that. Now if you are in a position where you make as much or more than him, and if he does not have any hangups about it, then he may be more apt to marry becuase he may no longer see it as a financial burden because you are actually bringing more to the table, unless you are talking about leaving work to do the mommy thing, than everything falls back on his shoulders again.


See, we live in different times now. Back in our parents or grandparents day, it was so easy to get jobs, and good paying ones at that. Men could leave highschool, get a factory job and know that they could be in that job until retirement and be able to comfortably afford a wife( who did not have to work) and afford some kids. Nowadays..nothing is guaranteed, you have people with college educations who can't find jobs, you have people with 15 years at the same company losing their jobs, people who saved money in their 401K having them chopped in half. People losing their homes...it is just tooo risky for one individual, let alone trying to deal with another individuals potential mess as well. So for most people nowadays marriage is a huge turnoff and there is no incentive to marry anymore. Most men are goal oriented and planners and if they see financially that it is too risky, they are not going to want to take that step.


In addition, if you have been living as man and wife for the most part..but just aren't officially married, then what is there to really motivate him to want to legally be with you because he is already getting what he wants out of you now.
Sorry to tell you this but before you got crazy about him, you needed to ask if he wanted to get married someday, how many children, etc etc...if you just assumed you have no idea how he feels on the subject. He doesn't want to- that is why he shuts down . So, one day when both of you are totally happy and content bring the subject up. Don't be defensive, just ask him do you see yourself getting married someday? Do you think I would be someone you would want to marry? Do you see yourself married to me someday? Do you see yourself having a child with me? If marriage is important to you, you need to know these things. There are some women out there that have changed a man's mind - but it is rare and it doesn't necessarily mean it will last. Before you get in any further, get the facts. Don't go having babies thinking he will change his mind - that doesn't necessarily work either - and now you are a single mom wondering how you got yourself into this mess. Don't compromise your values for someone - it won't make you happy. Good luck.
I am in the same boat you are in. We are past the kids because I have three and he has two and we both can't have anymore but he wont commit. I am at the stage were I am evaluating what I want. Do I give up something that I want or let it be because other than this issue we are ok. I haven't given him an ultimatum because I am not ready for it yet. I don't know why this subject is so difficult to talk about. Best of luck to you.
You haven't met Mr. Right, that's all. When someone truly loves you they will do ANYTHING to keep you...including marriage. It could be his upbringing, too (his mom and dad didn't work out so he doesn't want to make the same mistake (divorce), but most likely it's the first reason I said.
Honey, a man that wants to marry you wouldn't shut down. He isn't committed to you enough to marry you. And yes, he knows you're not the one for him.
You are not the woman he wants to marry, you are a temp. and he told you he wants you forever to keep you there until something better comes along
He does want you forever, but he knows chances are real good taht when you do the 'i do's'; for the marriage that your sex life with turn into the I Don'ts...
sounds like he has already committed to you. be with each other and enjoying each other is what it really is all about...married for 20 years.
stop sex completely, fornication is a sin and will not be rewarded,
Casue you're talking about giving up half his gross income.. when all he really wants is the free sex.
why buy the cow when the milk is free.